Spoof Text

The Zoo Job Story

 

One day a clown was visiting the zoo and attempted to earn some money by making a street performance. He acted and mimed perfectly some animal acts. As soon as he started to drive a crowd, a zoo keeper grabbed him and dragged him into his office. The zoo keeper explained to the clown that the zoo's most popular gorilla had died suddenly and the keeper was fear that attendance at the zoo would fall off. So he offered the clown a job to dress up as the gorilla until the zoo could get another one. The clown accepted this great opportunity.
So the next morning the clown put on the gorilla suit and entered the cage before the crowd came. He felt that it was a great job. He could sleep all he wanted, played and made fun of people and he drove bigger crowds than he ever did as a clown. He pretended the gorilla successfully.

However, eventually the crowds were tired of him for just swinging on tires. He began to notice that the people were paying more attention to the lion in the next cage. Not wanting to lose the attention of his audience, he decided to make a spectacular performance. He climbed to the top of his cage, crawled across a partition, and dangled from the top to the lion's cage. Of course, this made the lion furious, but the crowd people loved it.
At the end of the day the zoo keeper came and gave him a raise for being such a good attraction. Well, this went on for some time, he kept taunting the lion, the audience crowd grew a larger, and his salary kept going up. Then one terrible day happened. When he was dangling over the furious lion, he slipped and fell into the lion cage. The clown was really in big terrible situation. He was terrified.

Sooner the lion gathered itself and prepared to pounce. The clown was so scared. He could do nothing and he began to run round and round the cage with the lion close and closer behind. Finally, the lion could catch him. The clown started screaming and yelling, "Help me, help me!", but the lion was quick and pounces. The clown soon found himself flat on his back looking up at the angry lion and suddenly he heard a voice from the lion’s mouth;"Shut up you idiot! Do you want to get us both fired?".

 

 

1.      What the zookeeper do seeing the clown started to drive a crowd ?

A.    He throw a net and catch him

B.     He give the clown some tip

C.     He grabbed the clown and dropped it to his office

D.    The clown run away from zoo

E.     The clown is closing to the zookeeper

 

 

2.      What is the Clown’s new job ?

A.    Attract guitar skills to the visitors

B.     Do some attraction with gorilla suits

C.     Mime some animal acts

D.    Cleaning services

E.     He didn’t have a new job yet

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3.      What happened with the Clown when he taught the lion ?

A.    He mock the lion

B.     He throw a meat to the lion

C.     He sing a song

D.    He was slip into lion’s cage

E.     He perform a gorilla scrawl

 

4.      What is the mainly function of text ?

A.    To entertain and storied an unpredictable ending

B.     To share an information about something

C.     To advertise or selling something

D.    To tell about the procedures to do something

E.     To inform a news

 

5.      What is the general structure of the text ?

A.    Orientation – Events - Twist

B.     Orientation – Issue - Twist

C.     Resolution – Steps - Arguments

D.    Twist – Orientation - Steps

E.     Orientation – Arguments – Twist

 

6.      According to you, which is the “Twist” paragraph part in the text above ?

A.    Paragraph 1

B.     Paragraph 2

C.     Paragraph 3

D.    Paragraph 1 and 2

E.     None

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What time is it?

A tramp lie down and sleep in the park. He had been sleeping for about 5 minutes when a couple walked by. The man stopped, woke the tramp up , and asked him, "Excuse me.
Do you know what the time is?" The tramp replied, "I'm sorry - I don't have a watch, so I don't know the time."
The man apologized for waking the tramp and the couple walked away.

The tramp lay down again, and after a few minutes went back to sleep. Just then, a woman, who was out walking her dog, shook the tramp's shoulder until he woke up again.
The woman said, "I'm sorry to trouble you, but I'm afraid I've lost my watch - do you happen to know the time?" The tramp was a little annoyed at being woken up again, but he politely told the woman that he didn't have a watch and didn't know the time.

After the woman had gone, the tramp had an idea.
He opened the bag that contained all his possessions and got out a pen, a piece of paper and some string. On the paper, he wrote down, 'I do not have a watch. I do not know the time'.
He then hung the paper round his neck and eventually dropped off again.

After about 15 minutes, a policeman who was walking through the park noticed the tramp asleep on the bench, and the sign around his neck.
He woke the tramp up and said, "I read your sign. I thought you'd like to know that it's 2:30 p.m."

 

7.      Why the tramp don’t know about the time ?

A.    Because he has an amnesia

B.     Because he didn’t have any watch

C.     Because he still tired

D.    Because he was disturbed by the couple

E.     Because he hate the couple

 

8.      What is the tramp’s idea after the woman had gone from his sight ?

A.    He sleep again

B.     The tramp chase that woman

C.     He write a sign in a paper and hung it down

D.    He tries to find his watch

E.     He didn’t have any idea

 

9.      What was the police told to the tramp after he saw the sign ?

A.    The police told the tramp the time.

B.     The tramp woke up and he run away.

C.     The police giving him a watch

D.    The police woke the tramp up and steal the sign

E.     The police bring him to the watch shop.

 

 

 

 

 

 

10.  From the following statements, which one is TRUE according to the text ?

A.    The couple woke the tramp up and mock him

B.     The tramp get angry after the woman asked him

C.     The tramp is sleeping in the park for 1 hour

D.    The police came and told the tramp that the time is 2:30 p.m.

E.     The tramp open the bag and take a small pillow.

 

 

 

Last week I took my five-year old son, Willy, to a musical instrument store in my hometown. I wanted to buy him a set of junior drum because his drum teacher advised me to buy him one. Willy likes listening to music very much. He also likes asking me everything he wants to know. Even his questions sometimes seem precocious for a boy of his age. He is very inquisitive.

We went there by car. On the way, we saw a policeman standing near a traffic light regulating the passing cars and other vehicles. He blew his whistle now and then.

Seeing the policeman blowing his whistle, Willy asked me at once, "Dad, why is the policeman using a whistle, not a drum?"

Hearing his unexpected question I answered reluctantly, "Because he is not Phil Collins!"

 

11.  What does the text talk about........

A.   Willy and his new drum.
B.     Phil Collins and his drum.
C.     A policeman and his whistle.
D.     Willy's drum private teacher.
E.     The writer's five-year old son.

12. From the text above we know that Willy is a/n........ boy.

A.   smart
B.    funny
C.    stupid
D.    childish
E.    annoying

13. Which sentence makes the text a funny story ........

A.      He is very inquisitive.
B.      "Because he is not Phil Collins".
C.      He blew his whistle now and then.
D.      He also likes asking me everything he wants to know.
E.       "Dad, why is the policeman using a whistle not a drum?"

 

 

 

 

 

The Blonde and the Lawyer

A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY.
The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game.
The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.
The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.
He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vise versa."
Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00."
This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game. The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer. "Okay" says the lawyer, "your turn."
She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?" The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00.
The blonde says, "Thank you", and turns back to get some more sleep.
The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.

14. The story tells us about …
a. A plane which a blonde and a lawyer took.
b. A lawyer who played a game with a blonde.
c. A lawyer who bet on something with a blonde.
d. A blonde who was tricked by a lawyer.
e. A blonde who lost her money.

15. What did the lawyer want to play with the blonde?
a. hide and seek
b. chicken limbo
c. jump rope
d. guessing game
e. scrabble

 

 

16. What was the rule of the game finally?
a. If the blonde could not answer the lawyer’s question, she paid him $5.00, and vise versa.
b. If the blonde could not answer the question, she should pay $5.00. If the lawyer could not answer her question, he should pay $500.00.
c. If the blonde could not answer the lawyer’s question, she paid him $500.00, and vise versa.
d. If the blonde could not answer the lawyer’s question, she paid him $500.00. If the lawyer could not answer her question, he paid her $5.00.
e. If the lawyer could not answer her question, he paid her $500.00. If the blonde could not answer his question, she did not have to pay him.

17. How much money did the blonde benefit from the game?
a. $5.00
b. $50.00
c. $500.00
d. $510.00
e. $490.00

18. Who was cleverer, the blonde or the lawyer?
a. the blonde
b. the lawyer
c. none of them was clever.
d. Both were clever.
e. They were the same.

19. The word “miffed’ in the last paragraph has the similar meaning to…
a. shy
b. happy
c. generous
d. doubt
e. angry

 

 

 

 

Penguin in the Park

Once, a man was walking in a park when he came across a penguin. He took him to a policeman and said, “I have just found this penguin. What should I do?” The policeman replied, “take him to the zoo”

The next day the policeman saw the same in the same park, and the man was still carrying the penguin with him. The policeman was rather surprised and walked up to the man and asked. “Why are you still carrying that penguin about? Didn’t you take t to the zoo?” ‘I certainly did,’ replied the man.

“And it was a great idea because he really enjoyed it, so today I’m taking him to the movies!”

 

20. The text above belongs to…..
A. spoof
B. recount
C. report
D. news item
E. narrative

21. Where did the man find the penguin?
A. in a zoo
B. in a park
C. in a movie theatre
D. in a police station
E. at his home

22. Where did the man take the penguin for the first time?

A. to a park
B. to a police station
C. to a zoo
D. to a movie theatre
E. to a policeman

23. What do you think of the text?
A. It’s wonderful
B. It’s frightened
C. It’s interesting
D. It’s funny
E. It’s crazy

 

24. Does the man do the police advice?
A. Yes, but it is as what the policeman meant
B. No, but it is as what the policeman meant
C. Yes, but it is not what the policeman meant
D. No, but it is not what the policeman meant
E. Yes, and it is as what the policeman meant

25. Why was the man still carrying the penguin the next day?
Because….
A. he would take the penguin to the zoo again
B. he enjoyed bringing the penguin everyday
C. he found that the penguin enjoyed the zoo
D. he misinterpreted to what the police said
E. he found another penguin in the park